Thoughts on Christian Spirituality

I was talking to one of the guys I work with the other day his name is Paul and we started talking about why people do what they do especially “Christians.” So, I start going on a rant about this and that and why I believe people are the way they are and why most Christians seems to be Luke warm.  Then it happened one of those moments , I am sure you know what I am talking about the moment in which you say something that is so revealing that it even shocks you and your the one who said it.  These are great moments because I feel like they are the moments when God drops a bit of truth in all the junk that you yourself are spitting out of your mouth.  I said “well Paul I think there is a time in everyone’s life (meaning all Christians) where they accept Jesus but, there is another point in your walk with Him, that’s the point where you surrender to Him.”  We both stopped talking.  For me it was a revelation, Paul is a writer as well and said he was going to write about it.  I said you can’t it’s my thought which it wasn’t it was God’s thought that He gave to me … Thanks God…  But anyways so I am thinking on this accepting and surrendering thing and for those of you who grew up in church you probably have a similar story to mine. I remember a specific moment in my life.  When I was 5 years old in Sunday school I accepted Christ at Church on the Rock in Quitman, Texas.  There was something beautifully simple in that moment, something was drawing me to accept Him. I had heard of Jesus my whole life up until then all 5 years and wanted to have Him live in me sounded like a great idea and it was.   I think Jesus loves it when we accept Him as a child because our love for Him is so pure there are no hidden motives, there are no selfish prayers, there is just acceptance and at that age alot of honest questions.  But what happens when you grow up?  What happens when the prayers aren’t even happening anymore?  This is a scary place to be I have been there and if it wasn’t for a youth pastor forcing me to lead worship one week while he was out of town I might have stayed there longer maybe forever, probably not, but you never know right?  So after many long battles over the phone with this youth pastor and him stopping by nagging me I decided to fill in even though my heart was dirty and I was in no position to even try to lead any one into worship.  So we had rehearsal and the service started and everything is going good accept for the nervous sweats that I am having.  Then it happens I am singing these lyrics,” In the secret in the quiet place in the stillness you are there,”  God opened my eyes to see all of these people lifting there hands in worship to Him not me and I knew in my heart that this is what I was supposed to do forever worship Him.  He put a verse in my heart that’s night Num. 20:12 go read the story it’s good and that’s the moment I Surrendered to Him and it was just as beautiful as the moment I accepted Him.  This doesn’t mean that I haven’t still tried to run from Him but through everything I have been through from that moment to this one sitting in front of my computer I have tried to live out that moment of surrender.  When was your moment?  Ask yourself? If you haven’t had it don’t worry it will find you just like it did me even if it drags you kicking and screaming…